INTERVIEWED BY OPRAH ~ OOPS, LOLA!! (PART 1)

The Peerless Pink Lemonade Stand and Hilarious Henrietta at In An Ideal World both tagged me to answer some questions about myself. (Confidentially, the Divine Oprah’s after me too, but she’ll just have to wait in line!) And so I started dictating my profound thoughts to my PA, Nora, but she simply couldn’t keep up with my runaway train of thought, my stream of consciousness musings (she called it "verbal diar..." something, anyway, a word that didn’t sound at all ladylike!) so I thought why don’t I simply interview myself in preparation for Oprah’s interview with me? Or should I say, mine with her? So here goes:

Lola: What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

Me: Hiring Nora as my PA!!

Lola: List 15 things you wish you could do.

Me: Well, there’s just the one really (though seems like 15) - to find a half-competent replacement!

Lola: List 15 things you did yesterday.

Me: I put 15 ads in local rags for that replacement!

Lola: List 15 things you’re looking forward to.

Me: Scouring all 15 papers to find that perfect PA!

Lola: Describe yourself in four words.

Me: Beautiful, brilliant, charismatic, charming, scintillating, wonderful, amusing...

Lola: Hang on!! That’s already more than four...

Me: New Labour Puppybaccalauréatacadémie (where I was educated) wasn’t very hot on sums. Well, wasn’t really hot on anything much except how to look beautiful and stylish ... And, anyway, all your questions are making me really sleepy. (Yawn). Ooh, I feel a little siesta coming on... Where’s my basket? (Snore)

Me: Oh! You’re still here. Excellent! Where were we? Oh, and would you like a churro-flavoured Bonio biscuit?

Lola: No thanks, just had my lunch. Now, some say you’ve been a bit quiet lately. Why’s that?

Me: Quiet? Well, let’s see. I’ve been quiet because I haven’t been very noisy.

Lola: And why’s that?

Me: Well, that’s a bit of an awkward question. Let me paws for thought...

Lola: Well, let me put it another way. What’s been, to date, your lowlight of 2009?

Me: That’s easy! Firstly, getting bitten by those DREADFUL Processional Caterpillars and secondly, being treated by that equally DREADFUL clumsily insensitive male vet with those dog-awful industrial-sized suppositories! I was REALLY quiet after all that!

Lola: And your highlight?

Me: Well, where to begin? There have been so many lovely awards from my blogpals - look they’re hanging over there in the sidebar (awards, I mean, not my lovely blogpals!). The one at the top, from the Delightful Duchess of Tea,bestowed on me the title of Dame, or rather Damette! Courtiers came flocking over here about my coat of arms (you know, rampant lion, snoring unicorn, that sort of thing). And my good blogpal, Henrietta, suggested one mixing trad and modern featuring me, Lola fighting a dragon dressed in Gucci (me, silly, not the dragon!) Now there’s a thought! Well, if I do have one, that’s definitely what I will go for but I haven’t been able to find any nice pic to show the courtiers. I wonder if any dear reader has one for me? So in the meantime, what I want is something much more practical, something my dear readers and fans will appreciate! In other words, a REPLICA LOLA! And another dear blogpal Heavenly Housewife found one in Liberty’s of London! A white chocolate ME! But there are lots of other Lola replicas now on the market like the ones below. I particularly like the calendar ones. Calendar Girls, be afraid. Be very afraid!!

Lola: Well, I've lots more questions for you but you're falling asleep again! And don't forget: you’re to pass on this tag to 15 NEW BLOGGERS too!

Me: Ooh, that’s sooo difficult! They’re all sooo wonderful. Just 15, you say? But you're quite right, these have been tough, hard-hitting questions you've asked and all these profound thoughts have made me sooo sleepy... where’s my basket? Can we finish the interview on Thursday and I'll have that list ready too. But do help yourself to a slice of this scrumptious Tarte Tatin below on your way out. And be sure to shut the door otherwise that useless PA of mine will be in here tampering with my pics again...

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh...

SEE YOU AGAIN THURSDAY!!

xxxLOL LOLA:)