August 10, 2009


The Peerless Pink Lemonade Stand and Hilarious Henrietta at In An Ideal World both tagged me to answer some questions about myself. (Confidentially, the Divine Oprah’s after me too, but she’ll just have to wait in line!) And so I started dictating my profound thoughts to my PA, Nora, but she simply couldn’t keep up with my runaway train of thought, my stream of consciousness musings (she called it "verbal diar..." something, anyway, a word that didn’t sound at all ladylike!) so I thought why don’t I simply interview myself in preparation for Oprah’s interview with me? Or should I say, mine with her? So here goes:

Lola: What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

Me: Hiring Nora as my PA!!

Lola: List 15 things you wish you could do.

Me: Well, there’s just the one really (though seems like 15) - to find a half-competent replacement!

Lola: List 15 things you did yesterday.

Me: I put 15 ads in local rags for that replacement!

Lola: List 15 things you’re looking forward to.

Me: Scouring all 15 papers to find that perfect PA!

Lola: Describe yourself in four words.

Me: Beautiful, brilliant, charismatic, charming, scintillating, wonderful, amusing...

Lola: Hang on!! That’s already more than four...

Me: New Labour Puppybaccalauréatacadémie (where I was educated) wasn’t very hot on sums. Well, wasn’t really hot on anything much except how to look beautiful and stylish ... And, anyway, all your questions are making me really sleepy. (Yawn). Ooh, I feel a little siesta coming on... Where’s my basket? (Snore)

Me: Oh! You’re still here. Excellent! Where were we? Oh, and would you like a churro-flavoured Bonio biscuit?

Lola: No thanks, just had my lunch. Now, some say you’ve been a bit quiet lately. Why’s that?

Me: Quiet? Well, let’s see. I’ve been quiet because I haven’t been very noisy.

Lola: And why’s that?

Me: Well, that’s a bit of an awkward question. Let me paws for thought...

Lola: Well, let me put it another way. What’s been, to date, your lowlight of 2009?

Me: That’s easy! Firstly, getting bitten by those DREADFUL Processional Caterpillars and secondly, being treated by that equally DREADFUL clumsily insensitive male vet with those dog-awful industrial-sized suppositories! I was REALLY quiet after all that!

Lola: And your highlight?

Me: Well, where to begin? There have been so many lovely awards from my blogpals - look they’re hanging over there in the sidebar (awards, I mean, not my lovely blogpals!). The one at the top, from the Delightful Duchess of Tea,bestowed on me the title of Dame, or rather Damette! Courtiers came flocking over here about my coat of arms (you know, rampant lion, snoring unicorn, that sort of thing). And my good blogpal, Henrietta, suggested one mixing trad and modern featuring me, Lola fighting a dragon dressed in Gucci (me, silly, not the dragon!) Now there’s a thought! Well, if I do have one, that’s definitely what I will go for but I haven’t been able to find any nice pic to show the courtiers. I wonder if any dear reader has one for me? So in the meantime, what I want is something much more practical, something my dear readers and fans will appreciate! In other words, a REPLICA LOLA! And another dear blogpal Heavenly Housewife found one in Liberty’s of London! A white chocolate ME! But there are lots of other Lola replicas now on the market like the ones below. I particularly like the calendar ones. Calendar Girls, be afraid. Be very afraid!!

Lola: Well, I've lots more questions for you but you're falling asleep again! And don't forget: you’re to pass on this tag to 15 NEW BLOGGERS too!

Me: Ooh, that’s sooo difficult! They’re all sooo wonderful. Just 15, you say? But you're quite right, these have been tough, hard-hitting questions you've asked and all these profound thoughts have made me sooo sleepy... where’s my basket? Can we finish the interview on Thursday and I'll have that list ready too. But do help yourself to a slice of this scrumptious Tarte Tatin below on your way out. And be sure to shut the door otherwise that useless PA of mine will be in here tampering with my pics again...

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh...



Heavenly Housewife said...

Lola, great beauties are always imitated, but u my dear, are an absolute original.
*kisses* HH
p.s. what a delicious tarte tatin, one of my favs :)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Hello my darling Lola, I did SO enjoy your Q&A. Your loyal fans hand off your every word.

Good luck with finding a replacement PA, remember the saying ... better the devil you know!!

Love the picture of Clive ;) .... oh and the gorgeous puppy ones too!

londongirl said...

this must be one of the funniest posts i've EVER read! the wit and irony are PRICELESS - couldnt stop howling with laughter!

keep it up - we can't wait for the next instalment...!

laterg8r said...

lola, you are FAB-U-LOUS! those replica's don't even come close dahlink!

Iva said...

WOW! Lola! You are one fabulous interviewer! AMAZING! Great questions :)

Michelle said...

What a fabulous interview Lola!! Even I'll take one of those Churro biscuits. Lol! Oh and can I also have Clive?


Michelle :)

Draffin Bears said...

What a great interview Lola, and I loved seeing all the pictures.
Many thanks for the piece of tarte tatin, very yummy.

Enjoy your week

Jessica Cangiano said...

Quite possibly the most adorable interview of all time! Seriously I've seen Elmo interviewed and Lola is even more precious (can't help but love her wit and candor).

I adore the name of the school she attended, Puppybaccalauréatacadémie. It sounds precisely like the kind of educational institution where it would be perfectly alright to lunch solely on macaroons, bring a note excusing you from gym class because your Dior heels gave you blisters over the weekend, and where Home-Ec was really more like a crash course on how to be a good sommelier :D

Countless hugs & thanks to you both for your fantastic comments, and the smiles your posts always bring my way! :)

♥ Jessica

Slices of Beauty... said...

You're one fab writer!
Cute pics.

Tracey said...

Lola.. so good to find out more about you. You live a very exciting life,, give Nora a break, she is only human! Love your post and you are a beautiful Bichon!

Shopaholic said...

Oh Lola, you do make me laugh somewhat.
Can not seriously wait until your on Oprah, glad your staying true to your routes though and giving us the goss first! xx

Maggi said...

Lola, you are so fabulous!

Air kisses all around Dahling!

Anonymous said...

Soon you will have your own talk(bark) show bravo!

Lemon Shortbread said...

so many lola replicas I'm getting dizzy! adorable =) and thank you for doing the Q&A - clever answers there's more questions but the answers are so much more straightforward (now why didn't I think of that)!


dear dear dear - what a fun post - especially the photos!

Duchess of Tea said...

Hilarious post my darlings, I can’t stop laughing….”Let me paws for thought” very original. The tarte looks delicious so does Clive, I am now confused as to which one I should order for lunch? Clive or tarte!!! Mmmmmmmmm difficult decision, I think I will order Clive; I need the exercise more then the calories.

Duchess xx

trishiekoh said...

Your answers are hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your comment...I will be reading your works soon as I have been looking for an intelligent read in ages...take care.

londongirl said...

me again! just read this & earlier postsagain &laughed out so loud my boss thought id gonecrazy!so proud to be a follower ofsuch a magnifcent blog!! we wantmore!

Tessa said...

Lola, you are, quite simply, a genius. Not only that, but you're awfully pretty as well. Not fair!

Chloé said...

hey there!
Thanks for your lovely comment!!

This is so funny :D

I missed so much at your blog, so I am very busy reading everything :)

Lots of love,

JennyMac said...

Love the interview! :)

Nora Johnson said...

Thanks everyone for all your wonderful comments! And remember, tomorrow (Thursday), I'll be back with PART 2 of THE INTERVIEW when I'll also be revealing a few secrets only my closest pals know... And Monday with my new WHAT LOLA WANTS (LOLA GETS!) COLUMN!! Phew! Exhausted after all that... need another siesta!

xxxLOL OpraH/LolaH :)

PS Gingey: thanks for lovely compliment about my psychological suspense thriller! Intelligent reading? Will leave that for others to decide! But you can judge for yourself from the independent Amazon reviews - just click on sidebar link!xx

MissRedLips said...

oh lola, you are just too fabulous! my two shih-tzus want to know where you find your churro-flavoured Bonio biscuits...:-)

Anonymous said...

Hot cha cha cha--like that tarte, or tartare, or er, um, the new PA perhaps?

(Tell Oprah you saw him first!!)

Love a post that makes me giggle!

Ciao lovely Lola and Nora!
C U 2 morrow!!!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

oh my gosh, that dog is frickin adorable.

The Vintage Kitten said...

Lola you are one of the best bloggers ever! Apart from being utterly adorable you are a hoot to boot! I wonder if I wear Marc Jacobs perfume I will be 'warm, sexy, sweet and innocent? One thing is I will never be as glamorous and adorable as you X
P.S If the job as your PA becomes vacant I will do it. I can spell corektlee LOL! X