A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My dear readers, a very Happy New Year to you! It’s been a wonderful year knowing you and my single biggest regret is that I’m not able because of Nora’s work commitments to get out and visit all your great sites as often as I used to ’cos, as you know, it’s Nora who types up all my deeply profound thoughts!

Now, as you know I’m hopeless with computers but Alfie, my nephew, is a computer nerd who spends hours and hours in chatrooms with his Harley Davidson pals (so long, in fact, his Mom, Sadie, was convinced he must be downloading pornography!) and he managed to post for me below Nora’s latest article in her Breaking Views column in EURO WEEKLY NEWS :

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS? NO WAY!
　
How long did your last New Year’s resolutions last? Three months? A month? A week? Well, all right then, just a few days, like mine. (Those three terrible, alcohol-free days now just a hazy blur.)

Chances are, though, they’ll be even briefer this year if the elf ‘n’ safety police have their way. Remember that Wii Fit Balance Board you set your heart on as just the ticket to help you melt away that extra mince pie or second helping of Christmas pudding and bring out your inner siren? Well, before you get too excited, have a look at the safety instructions. Doubtlessly you will be advised that a gadget like this is dangerous, can cause serious injury if used inappropriately and may contain nuts. I made the last bit up but you get the point.

Children’s toys, too, have their own safety hazards. After all, that pedal car little Tiger desperately wanted will now display a very prominent sign warning him to avoid all fire hydrants and trees when testing his steering skills through ever tighter bends reversing down the drive. And will stock not only a spare wheel in the boot but a spare golf club too.

Health and Safety legislation - as part of the wider "Nanny State" culture - is likely to feature strongly in the coming general election campaign. David Cameron already shot the opening salvo in a recent speech accusing Labour of allowing a blanket of fear to spread across the country.
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"Something has gone seriously wrong with the spirit of Health and Safety in the past decade," he declared. "When children are made to wear goggles by their head teacher to play conkers. When trainee hairdressers are not allowed scissors in the classroom. When office workers are banned from moving a chair without supervision. When staff at a railway station don’t help a young mum carry her baby buggy because they are not insured. When village fêtes are cancelled because residents can’t face jumping through all the bureaucratic hoops."

But that’s not all, David. Army bagpipers have been ordered to wear earplugs to stop them going deaf, Torbay council have warned that the town's palm tree leaves could cause "injury to eyes/ faces if improperly placed" - not to mention the restrictions on wind chimes in crematoria, sticking plasters in schools and flowers in hospitals. And, yes, I could go on and on - if it weren’t for the very real risk of developing RSI...

Oh, and my New Year’s resolution? Well, that’s really simple. There won’t be one. Because that’s something I know I can keep ...

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Remember you can catch each article every Thursday online! We'd love to know what you think about it but, better still, email dear Mrs Ed at mrsed@euroweeklynews.com

Well, that’s all for now , dear readers, but before you go do help yourselves to a bite from this gorgeous cupcake:

Grrh! Grrh! Aah! Aah!

Grrh! Grrh! Useless PA!

Mwah!
XoXo LOL LOLA:)