January 4, 2010


My dear readers, a very Happy New Year to you! It’s been a wonderful year knowing you and my single biggest regret is that I’m not able because of Nora’s work commitments to get out and visit all your great sites as often as I used to ’cos, as you know, it’s Nora who types up all my deeply profound thoughts!

Now, as you know I’m hopeless with computers but Alfie, my nephew, is a computer nerd who spends hours and hours in chatrooms with his Harley Davidson pals (so long, in fact, his Mom, Sadie, was convinced he must be downloading pornography!) and he managed to post for me below Nora’s latest article in her Breaking Views column in EURO WEEKLY NEWS :

How long did your last New Year’s resolutions last? Three months? A month? A week? Well, all right then, just a few days, like mine. (Those three terrible, alcohol-free days now just a hazy blur.)

Chances are, though, they’ll be even briefer this year if the elf ‘n’ safety police have their way. Remember that Wii Fit Balance Board you set your heart on as just the ticket to help you melt away that extra mince pie or second helping of Christmas pudding and bring out your inner siren? Well, before you get too excited, have a look at the safety instructions. Doubtlessly you will be advised that a gadget like this is dangerous, can cause serious injury if used inappropriately and may contain nuts. I made the last bit up but you get the point.

Children’s toys, too, have their own safety hazards. After all, that pedal car little Tiger desperately wanted will now display a very prominent sign warning him to avoid all fire hydrants and trees when testing his steering skills through ever tighter bends reversing down the drive. And will stock not only a spare wheel in the boot but a spare golf club too.

Health and Safety legislation - as part of the wider "Nanny State" culture - is likely to feature strongly in the coming general election campaign. David Cameron already shot the opening salvo in a recent speech accusing Labour of allowing a blanket of fear to spread across the country.
"Something has gone seriously wrong with the spirit of Health and Safety in the past decade," he declared. "When children are made to wear goggles by their head teacher to play conkers. When trainee hairdressers are not allowed scissors in the classroom. When office workers are banned from moving a chair without supervision. When staff at a railway station don’t help a young mum carry her baby buggy because they are not insured. When village fêtes are cancelled because residents can’t face jumping through all the bureaucratic hoops."

But that’s not all, David. Army bagpipers have been ordered to wear earplugs to stop them going deaf, Torbay council have warned that the town's palm tree leaves could cause "injury to eyes/ faces if improperly placed" - not to mention the restrictions on wind chimes in crematoria, sticking plasters in schools and flowers in hospitals. And, yes, I could go on and on - if it weren’t for the very real risk of developing RSI...

Oh, and my New Year’s resolution? Well, that’s really simple. There won’t be one. Because that’s something I know I can keep ...
Remember you can catch each article every Thursday online! We'd love to know what you think about it but, better still, email dear Mrs Ed at mrsed@euroweeklynews.com

Well, that’s all for now , dear readers, but before you go do help yourselves to a bite from this gorgeous cupcake:

Grrh! Grrh! Aah! Aah!

Grrh! Grrh! Useless PA!



Maria said...

So witty! And yes, I love your new column - off now to let the Ed know too!
Happy New Year to you both, Maria

Mercedes said...

Happy New Year wishes -great post & article too!You always make me laugh!

astrid said...

Best wishes to you both too! Always something amusing to read here lol

Keep it up & *see* you again soon!

xx Astrid

Jeff said...

wOnderful post & wonderful article! Great to read at start of new week (& new year!) Best wishes for2010!

Claire said...

Always back with a bang,so great to see you again, loved the post & article!

All the best for the New Year too,

Heavenly Housewife said...

You are so clever daaaaahling. HH doesn't do resolutions either. We don't need to dear, cause we are fab all year round :D
*kisses* HH

French Fancy said...

What a quirky blog you write, little Lola, through your amanuensis, Nora - and all to the lovely sounds of Sir Bob.

Happy new year to you both


Gemma said...

You're sooo funny & witty!Lovely post (& article!)

PS Happy New Year too!

Jen said...

Just came across yr site & love it!Such an amusing post & article lol!

Jen x

Mia said...

Hi there girls! Great post and great article- couldnt stop myself laughing out loud!

Great to *see* you back again too!


Mia x

Nick said...

What can I add? It's all been said above! Terrific post & witty article!!

Good to see you back again Lola!


laura said...

Wow! What a fantastic article-loved the bit about "Tiger"!
All the best for 2010, my dear,
laura x

trishiekoh said...

Happy new year to you too!

Beth Niquette said...

LOVE those postcards! Happy New Year and a happy PFF!

Draffin Bears said...

Happy New Year, to you both!
I hope that it is the best year ever.
I always love to come and see all the witty and fun things you have to share.

Best wishes & hugs

BINKSY said...

Happy New Year

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh hi girls, got here eventually. Takes me a while in these lazy holiday times.

I agree with those words on how ridculious health and safty has become.

Hoping you had a Happy New Year and wishing you much happiness for 2010.


Duchess of Tea said...

Nora and Damette darlings, I hope you had a wonderful time ringing in the New Year and that 2010 turns out to be the best year of your life, followed by many more.
Thanks for all your visits and sweet comments; you are a dear friend...a treasure.

Love & Hugs

tanya said...

Marvellous post & article!Congrats!Will email ed right now!

jane said...

Love the post and the article too , so witty & amusing! Happy New Year too!

Kelly said...

Very Happy New Year to you both too! Totally agree how silly & unnecessary H & safety regulations are!

Great article - look forward to reading more ...


Jill said...

Hope you both had a wonderful New Year and that 2010 will be the best of your life!

Always love reading yr lovely blog!

Hugs , Jill x

Shopaholic said...

Hooray! you are back...
missing my lol moments when you're not around x

maryt/theteach said...

Nora, Lola is my favorite kind of doggie! If I were to have a doggie, Lola's breed would be it! Now, on to Brad - Yum! Today I saw this quote at Barnes & Noble: "Stay calm, eat a cupcake." Coincidence? I don't think so... :)

maryt/theteach said...

Another coincidence at my blog

Bhavesh Chhatbar said...

I just love your blogging style Nora, I mean Lola :)

Rays of Hope