YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! ~ & AU REVOIR!

THE COLUMN THAT GIVES YOU,DEAR READERS,LOLA POWER!

Well, dear readers, it’s the first week of a new month and that can only mean one thing: YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! And my postbag is full to bursting with queries and dilemmas from so many of you! And, as usual, I’ve picked out the most urgent and pressing to share.

1. First up is another query from Alfie, my puppy-nephew (above). Alfie, as you know, is a keen Harley-Davidson fan and he desperately wants to travel to the US this summer to attend a big HD rally. But none of his close relatives, particularly his Mom, Sadie (right) are willing to take him. Alfie is heart-broken at the prospect of missing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. What should he do?
Ooh, Nora! You are sooo useless! Most incompetent PA ever! Post the pic of Alfie
below immediately...!

Dear Alfie,
I have just the ticket, literally! This summer has just seen the launch of Pet Airways http://petairways.com the first pets-only airline which runs a weekly service to five US cities. Pets travel in a Beechcraft 1900 that can hold 50 animals, two pilots and one pet attendant. It promises to transport pets with "love, care, safety and comfort" in the main cabin (any owners must travel on regular flights - they aren't even allowed to fly in cargo!). Since the first flights will be for dogs and cats only, you’re in luck, Alfie! Check your pet passport’s up-to-date and off you go - on your OWN! And, on arrival, do check into a Paw Seasons Hotel and order their canine special, Leash and Potato soup! And let’s hope you don’t get dogged at every step by puparazzi! Bone voyage! *groan*

Dear readers, that’s my advice to Alfie. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

2. Next up is a query from the British Secret Service, MI6 (left), which is advertising for a health and safety adviser to "keep our staff safe as they go about their work protecting the country against these threats" & "promote a positive safety culture".
What sort of advice do you think MI6 should be given? Here's Lola's:

Dear MI6,
When visiting the headquarters of the evil Blofeld empire, always remember that white cats may cause an allergic reaction. Oh, and before your next mission, Mr Bond, please read every leaflet you can lay your, er, hands on about the dangers of venereal disease...

Dear readers, that’s my advice to MI6. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

3. And finally, an email from an 18-year-old New Zealand boy, Michael, who’s in a real dilemma concerning his mother, Jennifer.

When she recently ordered him to clear out the garage and sell unwanted items, he was so outraged, he tells me, he sought revenge by putting up for sale on TradeMe, an internet auction site, some eight-year old "glamour" photos he found of her in suspenders and thong under the title "Five Naked Photos of My Mum". When she found out, she called him a "cheeky little git". But she became truly angry, however, when the site took the photos down because "we don’t really want to be the place where people sell pictures of their mothers in their underwear". Michael says she’s now INSISTING he put them (and some others too) back up or else - ’cos in her words: "They are artistic. There’s nothing dodgy about them. I want 50% of the sale, but, more than that, I miss the NICE comments." What should Michael do to appease his mother?

Dear Michael,
My advice is to encourage your mother to start blogging where she’ll get lots of "nice comments" from nice, new blogpals - provided, that is, she doesn’t post any of those D-R-E-A-D-F-U-L photos you sent me... U-G-H!! U-G-H!! U-G-H!!

Dear readers, that’s my advice to Michael. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

Well, sadly that’s all we have time for now, dear readers! But remember, YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! - your lifeline to a saner, more harmonious, beauteous world!

And now I’m going to creep back to my basket for my beauty sleep (yawn), but do help yourselves, my dear readers, to a piece of Laduree candy (below) on your way out! And many thanks for your comments, visits and follower links this week! Oh, and by the way, I shall be MIA for the immediate future - don’t know when I’ll be back unlike Arnie (right) - ’cos Nora’s off on an extended business trip and, as you know, she’s the one who types up all my deeply profound thoughts! But it’s been a great ride...thanks to YOU! You’ve been such a lovely audience and I’ll miss you all terribly!

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!
Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!!

No, you useless PA! I don’t mean that eye candy. I mean THIS!!

xxLOL LOLA:)