September 5, 2009

YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! ~ & AU REVOIR!


THE COLUMN THAT GIVES YOU,DEAR READERS,LOLA POWER!

Well, dear readers, it’s the first week of a new month and that can only mean one thing: YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! And my postbag is full to bursting with queries and dilemmas from so many of you! And, as usual, I’ve picked out the most urgent and pressing to share.

1. First up is another query from Alfie, my puppy-nephew (above). Alfie, as you know, is a keen Harley-Davidson fan and he desperately wants to travel to the US this summer to attend a big HD rally. But none of his close relatives, particularly his Mom, Sadie (right) are willing to take him. Alfie is heart-broken at the prospect of missing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. What should he do?
Ooh, Nora! You are sooo useless! Most incompetent PA ever! Post the pic of Alfie
below immediately...!

Dear Alfie,
I have just the ticket, literally! This summer has just seen the launch of Pet Airways
http://petairways.com the first pets-only airline which runs a weekly service to five US cities. Pets travel in a Beechcraft 1900 that can hold 50 animals, two pilots and one pet attendant. It promises to transport pets with "love, care, safety and comfort" in the main cabin (any owners must travel on regular flights - they aren't even allowed to fly in cargo!). Since the first flights will be for dogs and cats only, you’re in luck, Alfie! Check your pet passport’s up-to-date and off you go - on your OWN! And, on arrival, do check into a Paw Seasons Hotel and order their canine special, Leash and Potato soup! And let’s hope you don’t get dogged at every step by puparazzi! Bone voyage! *groan*

Dear readers, that’s my advice to Alfie. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

2. Next up is a query from the British Secret Service, MI6 (left), which is advertising for a health and safety adviser to "keep our staff safe as they go about their work protecting the country against these threats" & "promote a positive safety culture".
What sort of advice do you think MI6 should be given? Here's Lola's:

Dear MI6,
When visiting the headquarters of the evil Blofeld empire, always remember that white cats may cause an allergic reaction. Oh, and before your next mission, Mr Bond, please read every leaflet you can lay your, er, hands on about the dangers of venereal disease...

Dear readers, that’s my advice to MI6. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

3. And finally, an email from an 18-year-old New Zealand boy, Michael, who’s in a real dilemma concerning his mother, Jennifer.

When she recently ordered him to clear out the garage and sell unwanted items, he was so outraged, he tells me, he sought revenge by putting up for sale on TradeMe, an internet auction site, some eight-year old "glamour" photos he found of her in suspenders and thong under the title "Five Naked Photos of My Mum". When she found out, she called him a "cheeky little git". But she became truly angry, however, when the site took the photos down because "we don’t really want to be the place where people sell pictures of their mothers in their underwear". Michael says she’s now INSISTING he put them (and some others too) back up or else - ’cos in her words: "They are artistic. There’s nothing dodgy about them. I want 50% of the sale, but, more than that, I miss the NICE comments." What should Michael do to appease his mother?

Dear Michael,
My advice is to encourage your mother to start blogging where she’ll get lots of "nice comments" from nice, new blogpals - provided, that is, she doesn’t post any of those D-R-E-A-D-F-U-L photos you sent me... U-G-H!! U-G-H!! U-G-H!!

Dear readers, that’s my advice to Michael. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions?

Well, sadly that’s all we have time for now, dear readers! But remember, YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! - your lifeline to a saner, more harmonious, beauteous world!

And now I’m going to creep back to my basket for my beauty sleep (yawn), but do help yourselves, my dear readers, to a piece of Laduree candy (below) on your way out! And many thanks for your comments, visits and follower links this week! Oh, and by the way, I shall be MIA for the immediate future - don’t know when I’ll be back unlike Arnie (right) - ’cos Nora’s off on an extended business trip and, as you know, she’s the one who types up all my deeply profound thoughts! But it’s been a great ride...thanks to YOU! You’ve been such a lovely audience and I’ll miss you all terribly!

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!
Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!!
No, you useless PA! I don’t mean that eye candy. I mean THIS!!


xxLOL LOLA:)
 

September 4, 2009

EVER BEEN SNAPPED WITH YOUR EYES SHUT LIKE HM
QUEEN ELIZABETH OR UPSTAGED BY A DOG LIKE BOWIE?


Queen Elizabeth II, 'Lightness Of Being', 2004
Credit: Chris Levine


A collection of photographs - called "I Want it All" -
is currently on view at the Little Black Gallery
in London. The exhibition features film stars, rock
legends, chefs and queens
and runs
from the 1st of September to the 10th of October.
Here, my dear readers, is a selection especially
for you!


James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor, 1955, on the
set of Giant, photographed by Richard Miller, a
freelance photographer employed by Globe Photos
to cover the entertainment industry. His first
on-location assignment was on the set of Giant.
Credit: Richard Miller

Marco Pierre White, 1989
Credit: Bob Carlos Clarke

Jean Shrimpton and Terence Stamp,1963
Credit: Terry O'Neill

Michael Jackson,1998
Credit: Alan Davidson

Twiggy,1966
Credit: Barry Lategan

James Dean again on the set of Giant,1955
Credit: Richard Miller

Bob Carlos Clarke took this shot of Mick Jagger
in 1971 as a student photographer; it was at the
famous Stones concert at The Round House. Bob's
camera was confiscated by security and the film
removed however a roll slipped through the net
and contained this image.
Credit: Bob Carlos Clarke

The Rolling Stones, 1969. These photographs
were taken during Rolling Stones rehearsals at
Apple Studios before their infamous Hyde Park
concert in 1969. It was just after Brian Jones had
died and Mick Taylor had joined. It was Willie
Christie's first professional job (a commission for
Melody Maker), and he remembers how the
Rolling Stones didn't want him to be there, and
wouldn't allow him to use flash. Mick Taylor kept
turning his back for the pictures. Only three
pictures were ever published in Melody Maker
Credit: Willie Christie

David Bowie & THAT DOG!1975
Credit: Terry O'Neill

WELL, DEAR READERS, WHICH PICS DID
YOU LIKE BEST AND WHICH THE LEAST?

And, dear readers, do help yourselves to
a piece of this cake on your way out too!

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!
Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!!


PAW NOTE: See you tomorrow for
this month’s
YOUR LOLA LIFELINE!!

xxLOL LOLA:)

September 2, 2009

WOULD YOU BE SNAPPED CRYING OR IN BED (WITH ANOTHER MAN!)?

As you know, dear readers, I’m Agony Aunt
to the Stars
in Your Lola Lifeline column! (btw
The September one’s appearing shortly!) Lorenzo
Agius
is something similar! Well, not an Agony Aunt
exactly! But Photographer to the Stars! Apparently,
they feel so comfortable and relaxed with him that they
allow him to snap them in all kinds of, well, unusual
scenarios. Such as: Crying. Blindfolded. Eating
chips. In bed (two male stars!) Mouse-watching...


Scenarios that I wouldn’t let myself be snapped in,
would you?! Well, maybe eating chips but crying?
Blindfolded? In bed? (But hang on, which two
male stars are we talking about here?!!
)

From 14 September to 14 October 2009, Lorenzo’s
images will be on show at the Alon Zakaim
Fine Art Gallery, Mayfair, London
so do get
along there if you can. But here’s a selection of
them especially for you, my dear readers:

Jude Law, Ewan McGregor

Eddie Izzard

Angelina Jolie

Madonna

Jack Nicholson

Hugh Jackman

Liam Gallagher, Patsy Kensit

Ewan again

Keira & those chips!


WELL, DEAR READERS, WHICH SITUATIONS
WOULD YOU NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE
SNAPPED IN? WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE?


OH, AND DO HELP YOURSELF TO SOME OF
THIS CANDY ON YOUR WAY OUT!!

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!
Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh!!


No, I mean THIS candy!!


xxLOL LOLA:)