August 31, 2011

YOUR LOLA LIFELINE!





























YOUR LOLA LIFELINE!
THE COLUMN THAT GIVES YOU,DEAR READERS,LOLA POWER!
Well, dear readers, welcome to the latest edition of Alphabe-Thursday where *T* stands for just one thing: *T*RUST: YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! And my postbag’s full to bursting with queries and dilemmas from so many of you (if I haven’t been able to include yours this time, I will next!). As usual, I’ve picked out the most urgent and pressing to share.




1. First up is another query from my puppy-nephew, Alfie (above).
Ooh, Nora! You are sooo useless!
Most incompetent PA ever! Post the
pic of Alfie below immediately...!


















Dear Aunt Lola,
I have a dilemma: I always visit friends in France in the summer, and one of their signature dishes contains horse. I’m taking my girlfriend, Tamara (below), for the first time. She has owned horses for years, and is passionate about them. I know this will really upset her and could jeopardise our relationship. What should I do, Aunt Lola?
Dear Alfie,
As Summer’s almost at an end, this might be bolting the stable door after the horse has already been eaten. However, if your girlfriend doesn’t speak French, don’t tell her anything — a little economy with the truth will prepare her for married life together. (And if she does speak French, she will be aware of other unmentionable habits she may encounter anyway and you can stop worrying.)

Dear readers, that’s my advice for Alfie. Do you agree/disagree? Any other suggestions for him?






















2. Next up is a query from Miss Filet O’Fish, Belfast (left)
Dear Lola,
How does one go about getting etiquette changed? What bothers me is the rule that a man should always walk behind a lady when they are ascending a flight of stairs, in case she stumbles backwards. In these days of pelmet skirts/ skin-tight, ultra short female clothing, this can lead to embarrassment for both parties (but especially the lady). I feel the man should walk ahead of the lady when they are ascending. Do I need to write to etiquette guides, or could you make a pronouncement via the blogosphere?
Dear Miss 0’Fish,
Is there to be no joy in your life?
Dear readers, that’s my advice for Miss Filet O’Fish. Agree/disagree? Any other suggestions for her?

Finally, we have a query from a Mr "Rick Shaw", London, who would prefer to remain incognito but for those of you are a bit curious, I've done exhaustive research on your behalf CLICK HERE
3. Dear Lola,
My girlfriend (right) thinks she has a stalker. I’ve been following her for weeks, but haven’t seen him. Is it just me or is she crazy?
Dear Mr Rick Shaw,
You’re right: it is just you.
Dear readers, that’s my advice for Mr Rick Shaw. Agree/disagree? Any other suggestions for him?

Well, dear readers, sadly that’s all we have time for today! But remember, if you have any problems or queries you’d like me to respond to (dealt with anonymously if preferred), don’t hesitate to let me know (or my P.A., Nora) in the COMMENTS BOX BELOW! However weird, outlandish, insoluble it may seem, I’ll definitely have an answer to that Desperate Dilemma of yours! So why hesitate any longer? Go on! Write to me, Agony Aunt to the Stars, in the comments box NOW!

And remember, YOUR LOLA LIFELINE! - your lifeline to a saner, more harmonious, beauteous world.

And now I’m going to creep back to my basket for my beauty sleep (yawn), but do help yourselves, my dear readers, to the champagne (below) on your way out! Oh, btw, I shall be MIA for the next few weeks ’cos Nora’s away and, as you know, she’s the one who transcribes all my deeply profound thoughts! But, like Arnie (left), I WILL be back very, very soon AND before the fat lady sings!! Promise!! In the meantime,
do check out other Alphabe-Thursday posts @ Jenny Matlock’s!
XOXO LOLA:)


16 comments:

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Lola and Nora,

So great to see your Lola Lifeline back again and all the helpful advice, thank you. A wonderful way to start my day, with you know who!

Have a lovely day
Hugs
Carolyn

Heavenly Housewife said...

Ah Lola daaahling, how I've missed your great advice! Don't stay gone for too long!!
*kisses* HH

Morning said...

trust is important.

Jenny said...

Hi! So nice to see you both.

When I saw Alfie I started singing, "What's it all about, Alfie?" but it made my dog howl.

I love your terrific Q & A's.

It's always fun to see what your fun loving sense of humor cooks up!

Thanks for linking.

A+

Riet said...

What a fun post.

Judie said...

Lola, your answers are sheer genius! Now I have a question for you. My mom and dad had a birthday party for me (you can see the video on mom's blog) and I got lots of great gifts. Here's my problem--my brother Mulligan thinks they are HIS TOYS and takes them away from me when I am playing. Mom says to share, but he just won't listen. Help!!

LV said...

What a group of interesting things. It was a joy seeing something different.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Wow, just like Dear Abby, but with a sense of humor!

love it...

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I really enjoyed this,

bichonpawz said...

Your answers are brilliant Lola! Simply brilliant!! We have missed you and are ever so grateful to see that you pop in when you can!! Have a fun time and we will be right here when you return!! xoxo Chloe, LadyBug, and the mama

Annesphamily said...

This was quite fun for a terrific Thursday Alphabe Thursday post!

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Dear Lola and Nora,

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am a big fan of the way you 'net things out'.

HILARIOUS!

myorii said...

This is just too funny :) You have quite an interesting imagination with this Q&A!

Sue said...

VERY funny.

=)

Pondside said...

Dear Lola
Your advice is the best out there. My Cairn Rory barks at cats on TV. Is this normal? Does he want a cat-friend? Should I buy him one, and if so, should it be Siamese or Manx?
Thanking you in advance,
Pondside
xo

Birgit said...

Thanks for the laughs! :)

Greetings from Germany,
Birgit

PS: See my T post here! :)