A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My dear readers, a very Happy New Year to you! It’s been a wonderful year knowing you and my single biggest regret is that I’m not able because of Nora’s work commitments to get out and visit all your great sites as often as I used to ’cos, as you know, it’s Nora who types up all my deeply profound thoughts!

Now, as you know I’m hopeless with computers but Alfie, my nephew, is a computer nerd who spends hours and hours in chatrooms with his Harley Davidson pals (so long, in fact, his Mom, Sadie, was convinced he must be downloading pornography!) and he managed to post for me below Nora’s latest article in her Breaking Views column in EURO WEEKLY NEWS :

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS? NO WAY!
　
How long did your last New Year’s resolutions last? Three months? A month? A week? Well, all right then, just a few days, like mine. (Those three terrible, alcohol-free days now just a hazy blur.)

Chances are, though, they’ll be even briefer this year if the elf ‘n’ safety police have their way. Remember that Wii Fit Balance Board you set your heart on as just the ticket to help you melt away that extra mince pie or second helping of Christmas pudding and bring out your inner siren? Well, before you get too excited, have a look at the safety instructions. Doubtlessly you will be advised that a gadget like this is dangerous, can cause serious injury if used inappropriately and may contain nuts. I made the last bit up but you get the point.

Children’s toys, too, have their own safety hazards. After all, that pedal car little Tiger desperately wanted will now display a very prominent sign warning him to avoid all fire hydrants and trees when testing his steering skills through ever tighter bends reversing down the drive. And will stock not only a spare wheel in the boot but a spare golf club too.

Health and Safety legislation - as part of the wider "Nanny State" culture - is likely to feature strongly in the coming general election campaign. David Cameron already shot the opening salvo in a recent speech accusing Labour of allowing a blanket of fear to spread across the country.
.
"Something has gone seriously wrong with the spirit of Health and Safety in the past decade," he declared. "When children are made to wear goggles by their head teacher to play conkers. When trainee hairdressers are not allowed scissors in the classroom. When office workers are banned from moving a chair without supervision. When staff at a railway station don’t help a young mum carry her baby buggy because they are not insured. When village fêtes are cancelled because residents can’t face jumping through all the bureaucratic hoops."

But that’s not all, David. Army bagpipers have been ordered to wear earplugs to stop them going deaf, Torbay council have warned that the town's palm tree leaves could cause "injury to eyes/ faces if improperly placed" - not to mention the restrictions on wind chimes in crematoria, sticking plasters in schools and flowers in hospitals. And, yes, I could go on and on - if it weren’t for the very real risk of developing RSI...

Oh, and my New Year’s resolution? Well, that’s really simple. There won’t be one. Because that’s something I know I can keep ...

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Remember you can catch each article every Thursday online! We'd love to know what you think about it but, better still, email dear Mrs Ed at mrsed@euroweeklynews.com

Well, that’s all for now , dear readers, but before you go do help yourselves to a bite from this gorgeous cupcake:

Grrh! Grrh! Aah! Aah!

Grrh! Grrh! Useless PA!

Mwah!
XoXo LOL LOLA:)

A LITTLE OF WHAT LOLA LOVES (AND GETS!) 2

EVERYTHING! ~ FROM WILD 1980’s TO TOUGH MINIMALIST...

In this second A Little of What
Lola Loves (and Gets!) spot, I’d
like to share with you, my dear
readers, more of what I’ve got my
eye on in these latest Fall/Winter
2009 Catwalk Trends!
Which is YOUR favourite?

WILD 1980’S
Wow! Know anyone who really
looked like this? And as for the
Carmen Miranda hairpiece...
(Ashish)


COCKTAIL
Eye-catching, no? Want to turn
heads at YOUR next cocktail party?
And speaking of heads, what
about that different colour top-knot?
(Vuitton)


PRINTS
Beautifully designed and executed
dress but what’s that on her head?
Swim cap or hairnet?
(Dior)


COATS
"Directional" tailoring! But also
inspiration for that old blanket in the attic?
(Vivienne Westwood)


MILITARY
Need to be very beautiful AND
very slim to carry this off! Grrh!
(Paul Smith)


TWEED
Complete with trilby, denim and
boots! Just the ticket for that
shoot on the grouse moor?
(Marc Jacobs)


KNITS
Beautiful design and finish set off
by the androgynous-looking model...
(Matthew Williamson)


TOUGH MINIMALIST
Workwear? Er, no! But just love the
strategically-placed feather boa!
(Givenchy)


Well, dear readers, what do YOU think?

The cocktail dress is pawsitively perfect
(berry tones are so on-trend!) if a tad short!

The military look’s a bit too dour for my tastes
but I’ve got ideas now for that throw on the sofa...!

But, dear readers, what’s YOUR favorite trend?
And, more importantly, how might it look on YOU?

Well, to help solve this potential
dilemma and, since this is an Equal
Opportunities site, we’ve asked Messieurs Craig,
Putin and Pitt (all hanging over there in the
sidebar) to model one exclusively for us!
And as they say in THE WIRE, "Y’all feel me?"

See you Thursday for our trip to the white
villages of Andalucia!

xxxLOL LOLA:)

INTERVIEWED BY OPRAH ~ OOPS, LOLAH!! (PART 2)

Lola: Well, you’ve had yet another siesta and here we are back for Part 2 of our interview! Now, where were we? Ah, yes! Talking about your highlights of 2009! Any others?

Me: Oh, yes, lots! You know how some people have roses named after them? Well, I’ve had a scent! Marc Jacobs has just named his latest scent, the follow-up to his last blockbuster "Daisy", after moi - "LOLA"! But where "Daisy" (inspired by his love of Daisy in The Great Gatsby) was in dear Marc’s own words "white and sweet and innocent", "Lola" is "warm, sexy — with reds and hot colours". Sooo spot on! Couldn’t have put it better myself! Ooh! The naughty man! Must have been spying on me in my boudoir to have found out so much about me! *wink* wink*

Lola: Any idea why he named it after you?

Me: That’s easy too! Marc said, " ‘Lola’ has always evoked that kind of seductive thing," referring to songs also named after me like Copacabana and Whatever Lola Wants (Lola Gets!)

Lola: And what about the smell?

Me: A little bit fruity, a lot floral, with a dash of vanilla and musk. Anyone who wears it, Marc says, will be a "sultry temptress"... like moi! Guaranteed!

Lola: Anything else?

Me: Ooh yes! I’m sooo thrilled! My psychological suspense thriller, in the sidebar over there (which my PA had the cheek to pass off as her own!) has sold lots of copies both in the UK and the U.S.A. - all the profits for CUDECA my favourite charity!

Lola: Any special likes or dislikes?

Me: Well, let me see. I love clothes, handbags, shoes, watches - I adore ALL FASHION! In fact, I’d love to show you a few pics now... Would you like to see them?

Lola: ‘Fraid not. Don’t have time now... you’ve got so many there! But why don’t you show me them another time, say next Monday? How about: A LITTLE OF WHAT LOLA LOVES (& LOLA GETS!) ... on Mondays? OK? Good. Now let’s move on to your dislikes...?

Me: Well, I know it’s supposed to be healthy but I detest green tea - always looks as if a couple of caterpillars have curled up and died in the cup!

Lola: Anything else?

Me: Pretentious, starchy, Michelin-style, white-gloved, silver service restaurants where waiters constantly hover over your table like pregnant mosquitoes! The amuse-bouches, the nibbles, the petits fours, the predesserts, the postdesserts, the just desserts. Ooh! It’s like fighting off canapés at a wedding reception!

Lola: You talked in the first part of our interview about that school you attended, Puppybaccalauréatacadémie. Can you tell us a bit more about it?

Me: Well, my dear blogpal, Jessica at CHRONICALLY VINTAGE summed it up sooo perfectly when she recently described it to me as the kind of educational institution where it’s perfectly alright to lunch solely on macaroons, bring a note excusing you from gym class because your Manolos gave you blisters over the weekend, and where Home-Economics was really more like a crash course on how to be a good sommelier! And, I’ll add, where Geography was all about the world’s hottest cities and best beaches, Chemistry about mixing up exquisite beauty lotions and potions and History exclusively about vintage fashion and trends! Dear Jessica, if you - and so many of my dear blogpals and readers too - had been there, we’d all have had a hell of a ball!

Lola: Do you believe in astrology?

Me: Oh, yes, I do the full-on chart casting whatsit. In fact, I adore astrology ’cos it only needs to be vague enough to cover all eventualities and gives you massive escape routes. You know, just blame everything not on your parents - but your planets! When I do something wrong (admittedly rarely!), what I say is "'Well, naturally, last night there was a penumbral lunar eclipse in conjunction with my Leo rising" or, if I’m being a bit less geeky, merely shrug my fabulous fur shoulders and say "I'm a Taurus - just can't say 'No’!''....

Lola: Some might say your LOLA LIFELINE COLUMN is a bit radical, excessive even. Are you trying to take on the UK Government Opposition’s job by becoming another GUIDO FAWKES or taking over from NIGHTJACK who’s just retired (well, forced to retire!)? And Lola! I mean, encouraging Alfie to become a CROOK...! How could you?

Me: Well, as for those two great bloggers, there’s simply no comparison! I’m sooo much more BEAUTIFUL! And, as for Alfie, don’t you see? That’s all part of the strategy! If I’d said, "No, Alfie, you mustn’t do this, you must do that", he’d have rebelled like any youngster his age. After all, he’s simply going through a phase! But now he’s had time to reflect, he’s changed his mind and has gone right off the idea of becoming a crook. And is putting his best paw forward with other plans. But more about those in my next Lifeline Column!

Lola: Fine, OK! Now tell me one thing we don’t know about you.

Me: I ADORE frogs! Did you know I’ve got a pet frog called Kermit who talks to me? Here’s his pic:
KERMIT!

Lola: Final question. Who‘s the hottest celebrity?

Me: Oh, you mean, after me? Well, Brad comes pretty close!

Lola: Well, thanks for the interview. That was really, well, illuminating! But before you go, I understand you’re to pass on this tag to 15 NEW BLOGGERS!

Me: Ooh, that’s sooo difficult! They’re all sooo wonderful. Just 15, you say? Well, here they are:

LITTLE BEAR STUDIO
AGLIO, OLIO & PEPERONCINO
SLICES OF BEAUTY
ETERNALLY DISTRACTED
AERIAL ARMADILLO
IVA MESSY
LET'S HAVE A COCKTAIL
CLARITY IN WONDERLAND
TINKERING L8
I'D RATHER BE SCRAPBOOKING
LENORENEVERMORE
DOWN & OUT CHIC
MIMI CHARMANTE
SMALL ACORNS
FRENCHBLUE
GYPSY FOX

And those were even more doggedly tough questions you asked! But all these deeply profound thoughts have made me sooo sleepy... where’s my basket? But help yourself to one or two cupcakes on your way out. And please shut the door otherwise that useless PA of mine will be sure to be in here again tampering with everything. Of course, you do know she can’t spell, don't you? If it wasn’t for my editing, these posts she types up for me would be full of really bad spelljng mistakes.

For instance, did you see that letter of complaint she just wrote to our local water company? No? Well, here it is:

"IM RITNG TOO CUMPLANE BOUT AL TEH FLOURIDE YOO PORE INTOO TEH WATR HEAR INN ANDELUCY. YOO SHUD KONSIDR TEH RHAMUPHUKASHUNS UV YIR AKSHUNS IF YOO DOO TAHT. IM VERIE ANGREE, NORA."

Me: And don't forget to take one of these cupcakes:
Cupcakes!

Grrrh! Grrrh! Grrh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh!
Agh! Agh! Agh! Grrh! Grrh! Grrh! Agh...

SEE YOU MONDAY!!

P.S. OH, AND DO LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE HAS A PIC OF
A BICHON FIGHTING A DRAGON DRESSED IN GUCCI - FOR MY COAT OF ARMS!
xxxLOL LOLA:)